Arts & Entertainment

BLOCKBUSTER drama Downton Abbey will this week finally tell the unvarnished truth to its cretins.

THE soul of the late American singer James Brown is expected to fetch £5 million at auction later today.

THE Duchess of Cambridge has expressed dismay at the DVD release of Deadly Desires II: The Temptress, an 'erotic murder mystery' in which she stars.

THE workers responsible for rubbish and human shit are having a rocking time today at the site of the Bestival event.

THE BBC is to compete with the revamped Dallas by reviving moderately popular 80s yacht construction soap opera Howard’s Way.

THE simultaneous cinema release of the new Judge Dredd film and a sumptuous costume drama has left men struggling to choose.

MARACANIST Bez has won the role of Christian Grey in the forthcoming 50 Shades of Grey film.

ANCIENT Greek warriors have stormed the Big Brother house after mistaking Samantha Brick for Helen of Troy.

JOHN Motson has renewed his BBC contract until 2052, in line with the Corporation's policy to ensure everything remains exactly the same.

TREASURED photographs of Prince Harry naked in Las Vegas have been ruined by an elderly Spanish woman.