Arts & Entertainment
TONY Blair actor Michael Sheen is to extend his repertoire of real-life characters by playing Red Rum in a BBC mini-series.
THE BBC has agreed to air a charity appeal for the stricken people of Gaza, as long as they can include a fraudulent phone-in contest, it emerged last night.
MARVEL Comics legend Stan Lee is to unveil the world's first homosexual superhero since Batman.
THE BBC last night hailed new Doctor Who Matt Smith as one of the cheapest young actors of his generation.
THE incredibly moving song that everyone pretends to understand has topped the Christmas pop charts.
SKY is to add an extra dimension of awfulness to its television output with the launch of 3D TV, it announced last night.
BLUR are to remind everyone why they split up at a one-off gig in London next summer.
GIRLS Aloud singer Cheryl Cole is to star in a new ITV prime-time show where she stares at children while they burst into tears.
ITV show I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here is to drop its team challenge rounds so that it can focus on lots of wet tits.
SIR Paul McCartney last night revealed the Beatles were churning out drug induced bollocks at least 18 months before John Lennon got together with Yoko Ono.