Arts & Entertainment

ALL future ITV shows are to be based on popular Google search terms following the huge success of last night’s new primetime drama Billie Piper Dressed as a Whore.

CONSTABLE'S masterpiece The Hay Wain has been arrested in central London amid claims of nude horse exploitation.

TV food fans were celebrating last night after the BBC confirmed plans for a new series of Nigella Lawson Eats a Banana.

SKY television is to devote an entire day of programming to the growing threats faced by the international oil industry.

LONDON tube drivers are using strike action as a cover so they can stage last-minute rehearsals of their new production of The Mikado.

AMY Winehouse fans should stop buying her records because she is a croaky voiced skank who sounds like a goose being forced arse first into a trombone, her grandmother said last night.

SIXTY-FIVE new housemates, including a platoon of Gurkhas, were introduced into Big Brother last night, swelling numbers in the show for its tense final week to over 200.

JUST looking at the poster for License to Wed, a new comedy starring Robin Williams, reveals the film's catastrophic shitness, it was claimed last night.

TOP World of Warcraft player Jason Stibbles could be forced to give up masturbation altogether after the hugely popular online game unveiled its new expansion called Wrath of the Lich King.

ROCK legend Keith Richards is to write his memoirs, filled with intimate details of his life as a member of The Beatles.