Business

Internet To Shut For Half-Day On Wednesdays

THE internet is to start closing for a half day on Wednesday afternoons to give it time to sit down and have a nice cup of tea, it announced yesterday. 

'Flash! Flash! I Love You! But We've Only Got 14 Hours To Save Dobbies From Tom Hunter!'

DOBBIES the garden centre was in mortal danger last night after the launch of a hostile takeover by Emperor Tom Hunter of the Planet Mongo.

BAE In 'Arms For Cash' Scandal

BAE Systems' ethical reputation i under fresh scrutiny after a Daily Mash investigation revealed the company is deeply involved in the international arms trade.