Business

THE threatened closure of Debenhams would leave men only able to find out which aftershave they prefer at airports.

A TRAIN company is sick of passengers wanting it to employ real people when they could just go on its completely useless website.

A MERGER of crap businesses on Britain’s failing high streets has created the brand-new ‘charity vape betting shop’.

HAVE you just started a new job and are getting on everyone’s tits with your unquenchable enthusiasm for every aspect of it?

A WOMAN who credits her success to her disciplined morning routine somehow neglects to mention the fact she inherited £3.2m aged 21.

A YOUNG businessman is convinced his fashionable eatery in an unadventurous Northern town will start making money soon.

AS BUSINESS secretary of the current Conservative government, I have made assurances to companies operating within the UK that we will operate in their best interests.

MOST people would be prepared to live in abject poverty if it was guaranteed that Ryanair would go down with them, it has emerged.

A MAN has given up on his job, his relationships and his family ensure he is in when a package arrives at his house.

BRITAIN’S supermarket chains have confirmed they are just fucking itching to start putting Easter eggs out.