Business

A MECHANIC was genuinely going to charge a fair price to fix a car until its owner provoked him by saying something.

EAST End economists have warned that the UK’s debt stands at 353bn monkeys, or 176.5bn bags of sand.

A START-UP company is based in a normal office instead of a giant playground and is paying people a fair wage instead of free kombucha.

CALLED upon to give a presentation at work? Here’s how to hit the right note of business bullshit to drive the company drones wild.

THE threatened closure of Debenhams would leave men only able to find out which aftershave they prefer at airports.

A TRAIN company is sick of passengers wanting it to employ real people when they could just go on its completely useless website.

A MERGER of crap businesses on Britain’s failing high streets has created the brand-new ‘charity vape betting shop’.

HAVE you just started a new job and are getting on everyone’s tits with your unquenchable enthusiasm for every aspect of it?

A WOMAN who credits her success to her disciplined morning routine somehow neglects to mention the fact she inherited £3.2m aged 21.

A YOUNG businessman is convinced his fashionable eatery in an unadventurous Northern town will start making money soon.