Business

EMPLOYEES of large companies who wear their company logo in their leisure time are usually prize bellends, it has emerged.

A 45-YEAR-OLD has confirmed plans to sell his treasured CD collection for the few hundred pounds he still believes he will get for them.

THE city of Stoke-on-Trent is to become the UK’s largest branch of Wetherspoons, it has been announced.

A MIDDLE-MANAGER has discovered that sacking employees is not ‘the hardest part of the job’ but actually quite a buzz.

SIR Philip Green made employees sign non-disclosure agreements to stop everyone finding out what a big-hearted softie he is, he has confessed.

IN a moving ceremony, the last person who shops at Currys these days was committed to the ground in a mediocre fridge-freezer.

A DOG-OWNED analytics company has been selling information gained by sniffing other dogs’ arses, it has emerged.

A SMALL business is staffed entirely by f**king morons who cannot understand why everything takes ages, it has emerged.

HOUSE of Fraser is to cease the 'economically suicidal' practice of giving customers goods when they pay for them, it has confirmed. 

JOHN Lewis is beginning to wonder if its prices may be much, much higher than its rivals after years of wilful ignorance.