Celebrity

Colonel Kilgore ‘hurt by Clarkson snub’

A SENIOR US army officer has revealed he was hurt after Jeremy Clarkson pretended not to know him.

Desert Island Discs not hypothetical

GUESTS on Radio 4’s Desert Island Discs are actually abandoned on a remote Pacific atoll, the BBC has revealed.

Celebrities call for right to be remembered

FORMER celebrities are lobbying search engines to stop them fading into cultural oblivion.

Prince George shoots his first butterfly

PRINCE George has been introduced to the world of country sports by shooting a butterfly.

BBC accused of cock ring bias

ALL male BBC presenters have some form of penis adornment, it has emerged.

Cole marriage ‘perfect’ because they can’t understand each other

CHERYL Cole has described her marriage to a Frenchman as ‘perfect’, because they have no idea what they are saying to each other.

99 per cent of Ramones t-shirt owners not upset

THE death of Tommy Ramone has left most people who wear Ramones t-shirts emotionally unaffected.

Ireland offered Garth Crooks instead

IRISH fans of country star Garth Brooks have been offered a stout BBC pundit as a replacement.

Clooney considers switching to Daily Express

ACTOR George Clooney may break the habit of a lifetime and switch from the Daily Mail to the Daily Express.

Glittering reception celebrates Britain's biggest twats

THE prime minister has hosted a drinks party honouring the economic contribution made by the country's twats.