Environment

Woman looking for new plant to kill

A WOMAN is strolling over to the flower market to select which plant will spend the next month slowly dying in her flat.

Reintroduction of wolves 'should start in London'

PACKS of wolves should be reintroduced to London to curb unmanageable population growth, experts have claimed.

World's oldest intact shipwreck can't be that intact or it wouldn't have sunk

THE world’s ‘oldest intact shipwreck’ must have a hole in it somewhere or it would not be a shipwreck, experts have reasoned. 

Six things you can do today that will make f**k all difference to climate change

CHINA’S burning coal faster than its children can sew on sequins, Bitcoin’s gobbling up electricity faster than a fan heater in a damp bedsit, and the bloke up the road’s just bought a three-litre BMW SUV.

Sweaty woman determined to wear winter coat

A WOMAN refusing to remove her winter coat despite it still being quite warm out is sweating like a pig, she has admitted.

Cat wakes up on car roof after another massive session

A CAT has woken up on the roof of a random car after an all-night drinking session, it has emerged.

Posh woman clearly fancies her horse

AN UPPER class woman is obviously in love with her horse, it has been confirmed.

Scientists demand urgent action to stop extinction of pub pool tables

PUB pool tables are at risk of becoming an endangered species, experts have warned.