Health

BOILING up a bag of foul smelling old twigs sold to you by a man who has no medical knowledge will not cure you of cancer, a shock new report claims today. 

BUSY professionals can now get their brains cleaned at their desks under a new mind-valet service launched yesterday by Rentokil.

A LARGE bar of milk chocolate stops lazy people from telling lies about how exhasuted they are, new research suggests. 

CHILDBIRTH is to be made longer and more painful amid fresh claims it has been 'dumbed-down' to meet Government targets.

EVERY NHS patient will be allocated a hospital acquired infection with their name on it, under government plans for a personal health service. 

MILLIONS of people in the UK have a genuine intolerance for Carol Vorderman, new research suggests.

DIETARY experts have moved to end confusion over healthy eating by confirming that a packet of Opal Fruits does count towards the five-a-day target.

THE definition of the moment of death is to be redrawn to include anyone watching the cable television channel LivingTV, doctors announced last night. 

THE NHS is in imminent danger of collapse because skilled staff and vital equipment are being squashed flat by obese people, a new report warns. 

EVERY pregnant woman in Britain is to be given a 16 foot-long carrot, the government has announced.