Health

THE legal age for masturbation is to be raised to 18 as part of a series of measures aimed at tackling binge-wanking among teenage boys.

MIDDLE class people looking to get "off their tits" should give up wine and smoke drugs "like everyone else", health minister Caroline Flint said last night. 

MILLIONS of men with small penises and their wives were last night plunged into despair after the US announced it had arrested the so-called spam king of the internet. 

EVERYTHING will carry a government warning label, under plans to prevent anything from happening, the Department of Health has announced.

SCIENTISTS have discovered a wonder drug that increases women’s appetite for sexual intimacy and fast food.

DRINKING four or five large glasses of white wine at an office night out increases your chances of being sacked by up to 80 per cent, new research shows.