Health

Mutant Covid could protect us against evil Covid like the X-Men

SUPERHERO fans has theorised that the new mutant Covid could be protecting us even though hated and feared by humanity, like the X-Men.

Over-80s get vaccinated, get shitfaced and hit moshpit

THE over-80s are celebrating receiving the Covid vaccine by going straight to a metal gig, drinking eight pints and hitting the moshpit.

The mental and physical health benefits of giving up completely

HAD enough? Can’t be bothered anymore? Here are the astonishing health benefits of no longer trying.

Student returns home with quirky, individual strain of Covid

A UNIVERSITY student has returned home for Christmas with an alternative and radical strain of the coronavirus, he has confirmed.

Announcement of vaccine not the same as being vaccinated, idiots told

IDIOTS have been warned that merely ordering a vaccine does not make them immediately immune to Covid.

Changes of Covid tier to be decided by play-offs

THE health secretary has confirmed that regions will only be able to move to a new coronavirus tier after a series of play-offs.

Have you got Seasonal Affective Disorder or is this the worst winter ever?

GREY days and long nights making you blue? You might be suffering from SAD, or this might just be the worst f**king winter of any of our lives.

How to tell your friend you're leaving their bubble

HAVE you formed a bubble with a friend but now want to switch bubbles to a different, better friend? Break the news gently.

Sir, you have angered Kent

THE county of Kent has informed Boris Johnson that he has aroused its wrath and must therefore relinquish his position.

How to act like a spoilt little shit over the new Covid restrictions

ARE you a grown adult but think scientists are just trying to spoil everyone’s fun for the hell of it? Here’s how to behave like a petulant toddler.