International

ONE hundred nations last night signed a treaty agreeing to kill people without using cluster bombs.

ISRAEL and Palestine last night signed a hastily arranged peace deal in a desperate bid to prevent a visit from Hillary Clinton.

THE number of people killed as a result of Indian terrorism who are not Indians rose dramatically last night.

THE waning of America's influence on the global stage should not affect its ability to produce high quality drama and clever sitcoms, experts said last night.

THE world has nothing to fear from the collapse of the German economy, experts insisted last night. 

TOURISTS in Jerusalem were last night treated to one of the Holy Land's most exciting monk fights in more than 20 years.

BARACK Obama swept to victory last night as millions of Americans lapped up all that bullshit about change.

THE Madrid government last night sprang to the defence of Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross hailing them as the new heroes of anti-Spanish racism.

INDIA is to build a state of the art, multi-million dollar hospital on the moon.

FORMER US Secretary of State Colin Powell last night reassured white voters that Barak Obama's Oval Office will not be filled with the thick fug of ganja cigarettes.