International

THE human race has expressed concern that everyone in charge appears to be utterly demented.

DONALD Trump and Vladimir Putin have had the first nasty row of their until-now harmonious relationship.

CHINA'S leader has been reflecting on why he must travel so far to meet a moron.

A SOBBING Nigel Farage has told his fellow MEPs that they are his truest friends and leaving them will be the greatest sorrow of his life.

A MEMBER of Gibraltar’s monkey population feels more European than British, he has confirmed.

THE best way to make Britain great again is to invade resource-rich territories and enslave their people, Boris Johnson has claimed.

EU LEADERS are puzzled about why Britain wrote them a letter in the age of electronic communication.

PEOPLE who are generally not that engaged with world events have stepped up to defend stretchy jogging bottoms.

A PASSENGER on a Jeddah-London flight has explained that while laptops may be banned he has a MacBook, which is different.

GCHQ HAS confirmed that Donald Trump’s private communications are nothing but the same meaningless bollocks he says in public.