International

DONALD Trump’s closest adviser is a small boy who is the biggest bullshitter in his school, it has emerged.

A DESPERATE, blithering fuck-up has demanded the media accurately report how unbelievably fantastic it is.

PEOPLE looking for a new leader of the western world are eyeing up Justin Trudeau and Angela Merkel and dismissing Theresa May without a second thought.

DONALD Trump has been asking his aides who Richard Nixon is and why he is famous.

FIRED Trump adviser General Michael Flynn has put on his fur hat, taken a final shot of vodka and wished his White House comrades do svidanya. 

TRUMP advisor Steve Bannon begins his day by invoking powers of ancient evil, it has emerged.

DONALD Trump has banned all Sylvanians from entering America, even the really cute ones.

DONALD Trump and the man who tells him what to think have confirmed they are delighted with their latest scapegoat.

PRESIDENT Trump has generously granted the world a 24-hour break from his onslaught of lunatic behaviour.

DONALD Trump has fired all officials who lack the blank-eyed stare of the undead.