International

EU CHIEFS have ordered Greece to give up its sunny climate, sandy beaches and general pleasantness.

COMFORTABLY-OFF socialists in the UK have expressed concern that Alexis Tsipras appears to live without lots of nice things.

GREEK voters have defied expectation by choosing not to be beaten like cringing dogs for the next five years.

THE facial appendage on Tutankhamun’s burial mask is a hastily-attached chair leg, it has emerged.

UNDERCOVER reporter Mazher Mahmood, posing as an Arab sheikh, has become the new ruler of Saudi Arabia.

DISCUSSIONS at the World Economic Forum have been derailed by world leaders throwing bundles of Euros and dollars at each other.

BEING on the dole in Europe is a more stylish and sophisticated experience than in the UK, ex-pat Britons have claimed.

EUROPEAN authorities may ban the importation of fire in unsecured lorries after the Channel tunnel incident.

POPE Francis broke the bottom of a Grolsch bottle open on a bar when asked how Catholics should respond to insults to their faith.

A PAIR of morons scaled a sheer rock face for reasons that make no sense whatsoever.