Lifestyle

A WOMAN eating 360g of chocolate in one sitting foolishly believes the action doesn’t reflect her overall life choices.

THE last few cheeky gits on furlough have been told to straighten up and get back to bloody work like the rest of us.

DAD here. If you’re running out of light bulbs and bin-liners it’s because you didn’t stock up. Here’s how I’ll get through the post-Brexit years with tinned sweetcorn to spare.

BEEN through an experience that was abjectly shit, but you’re trying to spin it? Here are five useful euphemisms for when you’ve been through the wringer.

THANKS to the miracle of television nobody needs hobbies. Yet people still piss away their free time on these dull activities:

YOU have a nice flat with framed stuff on the walls, like in films. But why the f**k did you go and frame that?

A CAT is trying to live an upmarket, Sheba lifestyle on Whiskas money, it has emerged.

Rugged Northerners are unfazed by the impending winter energy crisis. No-nonsense Yorkshireman Roy Hobbs explains his survival tactics.

HATE mornings? Want to extend that feeling to the rest of the day? These tried-and-tested methods will ruin the whole week.

KIDS are weird, and the crap they play with is equally f**ked up. Take these five unhinged toys.