Lifestyle

A COUPLE have opted to spend tens of thousands of pounds on home improvements instead of just buying a new f**king house. 

THE parents of a two-month-old baby were told to ‘treasure every moment’ as their daughter was covering them in vile bodily fluids.

WILL people not stop knocking on your front door? Either scrawl ‘COVID PLAGUE HERE’ on it or give short shrift to the following bastards.

WERE your lockdown experiences deeper and more meaningful than everyone else’s? Do you need to tell them?

A WOMAN on the receiving end of a barbed, underhand comment has remained tragically unaware that she is being judged.

PARENTS have thanked f*ck after new Covid rules make it illegal for 15 hyperactive kids to smash up their house.

THE weekend is the perfect time to unwind by banging relentlessly, but you and your partner will fall asleep on the sofa while others are having the best sex of their lives. Who are they?

A COUPLE spent 200 quid on a trampoline only for their kids to get bored of it after two f**king days.   

A MAN who only has four friends is wondering what sort of person would be so popular that limiting gatherings to six people would be a problem.

JUST because universities are moving online doesn’t mean you can’t have a debauched Freshers’ Week. Here’s how to kick off your university experience from your childhood bedroom at your parents' house.