Lifestyle

YOUR delicate flower has gifts that money can’t buy, but getting those talents to blossom carries a hefty price tag.

A WOMAN who has been calling her upcoming maternity leave a 'year off' will soon be forced to face reality, friends have confirmed.

MIDDLE aged men are designed for sitting down. These are the only times when breaking into a run is acceptable:

DO your in-laws think you’re too common for their beloved offspring? Here are some subtle ways they’ll let you know.

A MAN who has donned shorts for the summer months has been reminded how much urine spashes back from urinals and toilets.

A COUPLE expecting their first child have discovered every potential baby name has been ruined by some freaky bastard one of them has met.

A CAT that spends 18 hours a day asleep on an armchair is in no need of an additional eight lives, observers have confirmed.

A woman who has been wearing a bra for 17 years still has absolutely no idea what size she is.

FANCY the seaside but fear being surrounded by common plebs? Middle-class person Nathan Muir explains how to avoid them.

THE human brain is a complex organ capable of amazing things. Unfortunately all yours does is retain this utterly useless trivia.