THE weekend’s here, and if you don’t get the kids out of the house then you’ll end up strangling at least one of them.
A MOTHER judges her children’s playdates to have gone well if she has consumed at least two large glasses of wine.
EMPTY-NESTER parents have told their adult children not to move back home because they never liked them and they were a mistake.
A MAN has convinced his wife that they need to upgrade their car with his automotive soothsayer abilities.
GETTING into a tub of tepid water with another human being always results in disappointment, a couple have confirmed.
A MAN doing that balancing thing on his bike at the traffic lights does not want you to look at him because he is ‘doing it for practical reasons’.
A GROUP of middle class students are terribly excited to 'do' some weed, it has been confirmed.
A TWAT has announced that a single day is not enough for his birthday.
Splaintard: Someone who explains something in a way that makes it clear that they themselves do not understand it because they’re stupid.
A WOMAN who liberally douses herself in awful perfume is leaving an invasive trail of scent on everyone she touches, it has emerged.