Science & Technology

A MAN is trying different ways of parking his car to find the ones that cause maximum annoyance.

SCIENTISTS are under attack after making a huge fuss about ‘gravitational waves’ then failing to explain what they are.

A GENETICIST who owns a copy of The Sims has been accused of attempting to control life itself.

SCIENTISTS have confirmed that you are not ready for a Easter egg-sized Cadbury’s Creme Egg.

AN IPAD has become the legal guardian of two children after their parents could no longer be arsed.

PEOPLE will be able to say ‘F**k That' to event invitations from next week, Facebook has confirmed.

PROFESSOR Stephen Hawking has warned that the greatest danger facing humanity today is Brian Cox.

ASTRONAUT Tim Peake's friend has struggled to match his weekend news during a call to the International Space Station.

A SELF-STYLED ’nerd’ is unable to fix computers, he has confirmed.

RESEARCHERS have discovered the pure atomic essence of stupidity.