Society

WHILE everybody would like to think they have luck on their side, there are some absolutely ludicrous superstitions out there that need to be questioned. Here are a few of them.

BEING a bloke comes with a hideous array of unreasonable expectations. Consider yourself a failure as a man if you fall foul of any of the following:

HAVE you inadvertently brought your child up to be a total nightmare? Here’s how to absolve yourself from blame by saying it’s all the fault of their teacher.

SOME UK universities have relaxed their standards on spelling and grammar. Here pompous old git Norman Steele debates the issue with young, trendy wanker Josh Hudson.

LEARN to speak proper and not get on other people’s nerves by avoiding these five common mistakes:

SHOULD we really describe people as ‘not suffering fools gladly’ when in fact they’re just opinionated gobshites? Here are some weird euphemisms for unreasonable folk.

LOCKDOWN stupid. Want go Homebase and get big plant pots and go pub with Pete, Gavin and Steve. Covid is silly and stupid and I hate it.

CAPITAL punishment was abolished in 1964, which was too soon, according to your dad. Here are some random irritations that make him long for the days of the hangman's noose.

SICK of seeing jokes regurgitated on social media with diminishing returns? Watching these five memes meet a grisly end would put a smile on anyone’s face.

IT’S said that people become more conservative as they age, but why does that happen? Here are some life events that will turn you from a radical young firebrand into a stuffy old Tory.