Society

Going To The Park For A Fight: the government guidelines

AS lockdown eases, many British citizens will be heading to a park, beach or beauty spot for drunken mayhem and a punch-up. Ensure you follow the rules:

Easter and the Royals - how to explain weird, outdated shit to your kids

RAISING kids is no easy task, especially when teachers are filling their heads with toxic crap about Easter being about ‘more than just eggs’.

How to still have a horrendously inconvenient wedding with only six people

FOR thousands of couples, the dream of a huge, ruinously expensive wedding is over. But your big day can still ruin your guests’ month.

GCSE Maths questions for our modern f**ked-up world

MATHS GCSE questions are being updated to make them more relevant to our modern world of electric scooters and videogame streaming. Can you answer them?

What to do if asylum seekers invade your retirement bungalow

ARE you a fearful older voter obsessed with asylum seekers thanks to the tabloids? Here’s what to do if hordes of them arrive in your cul-de-sac.

Nan still pissed off about uninvited visitors arriving at dinnertime in 2003

A NAN has still not forgiven members of her family for turning up at her house unannounced at 4.30pm 18 years ago.

Census to be redone after leaving out question on what you call a bread roll

THE 2021 census is to be recalled after leaving out the crucial question on what you and members of your household call a bread roll.

Are you the winner of a year of lockdown?

One year of lockdown on, how many cliched lockdown activities can you tick off our list?

Thanks f**king loads, peaceful protestors tell Bristol

PROTESTORS against new laws that would effectively ban peaceful protest have thanked Bristol for throwing a f**king riot.

Do you need to drive up a residential street at 53mph or are you a massive wanker?

ARE you speeding to rescue a child from a burning building or does going really fast for 40 metres make you feel like Vin Diesel, knobhead?