Society

Fantasy football and other reasons women will always be the superior gender

‘SHOULD I keep Sancho in my fantasy football team?’ is just one of the questions puzzling dumbshit men across Britain today.

Eating apple pips will make a tree grow in you, and other idiotic things you believed as a kid

All children are profoundly thick and will believe any old crap. Here’s some of the nonsense you no doubt bought into.

Five things today's kids would be horrified about from the 1980s

THE past is a different country, especially the 1980s. Here are some of the horrors of the decade today’s youngsters have mercifully avoided.

Online petition doing the rounds as if it'll make any f**king difference

AN online petition is being shared amongst social media users in a desperate plea for signatures as if it will lead to any f**king change whatsoever.

London's twat population finally stabilised

LONDON’S population of twats has finally stabilised after years of unprecedented skyrocketing, it has been confirmed.

Left-handed people admit they're just doing it to be different

LEFT-HANDED people have finally confessed that they do it deliberately for attention.

Stealing a glass from a pub, and other shit ways to 'stick it to the man'

LIFE can make you feel powerless, so sometimes it's nice to offer up a tiny act of rebellion. Here are five incredibly lame ones…

30-year-old loses last, tenuous grasp of youth culture

AN adult man who thought he was still down with the kids has finally lost the remaining, insubstantial grasp he had on youth culture.

Employers and four other people who don't give a shit about GCSE results

TOP GCSE grades are an impressive achievement for students but deathly dull to everyone else. These people don’t care if someone got a 9 or a 1.

Teachers outside schools with big baskets of GCSEs for anyone who wants one

TEACHERS have announced they will be outside schools all day with big baskets brimming with GCSEs so come and grab as many as you want.