Society

TESLAS are ludicrously expensive, so why not try a more cost-effective way to highlight how much of a twat you are?

READY for the return of the shortages and inflation of the 1970s? Don’t worry, the Tories won’t offer us these comforts...

A CREDULOUS loser of a student has signed up to all the societies at his university’s Freshers’ Fair.

IN 1974, coal shortages forced Britain to move to a three-day working week. As that prospect looms again, Britons remember those times entirely inaccurately.

INFLATION is skyrocketing, which is bad news for those household items that are guttingly expensive. Which are you digging deep for?

A MAN who never knows when it is appropriate to tip always decides it would be less embarrassing not to, friends have noticed.

A SINGLE woman in her mid-30s with no kids cannot tell if she is winning at life or a complete and utter loser.

A FATHER and son tossing a ball back and forth are the most basic bitches in the park, onlookers have agreed.

THE return of imperial measurements is just the start of our glorious post-Brexit bonuses. Here’s what else we can look forward to.

BRITAIN’S hard-working cannabis dealers are to be allowed to sell in eighths and quarter-pounds again as a Brexit benefit.