Society

Seven things that were so much f**king simpler in the 1970s

THERE were strikes and shortages and scandals, but you know what there wasn’t in the 1970s? Bloody complications.

The gammon's guide to flying in the age of Covid-19

WORRIED about traveling with Covid-19 still knocking around? Follow puce-faced bellend Norman Steele’s tips to make flying a nightmare for all.

Six unbelievably trivial things you cared about six months ago

IT’S fair to say 2020 has given us all a bit of perspective. Which is probably for the best, because back in January you gave a shit about these things.

Parents given lavish end-of-term gifts by teachers

PARENTS have been given end-of-term gifts of wine and chocolates by teachers to show their gratitude for parents having done their jobs for free since March.

Man who claims his freedom of speech is under threat never shuts the f**k up

A MAN claiming freedom of speech is as risk from censorious leftists spends 18 hours a day vomiting his opinions all over social media.

How to pretend to be outraged about the new Bristol statue in a non-racist way

A BLACK Lives Matter statue has appeared in Bristol where Edward Colston used to stand, and you’re pissed off. Here’s how to pretend it’s nothing to do with being racist.

Last week of homeschool even more bullshit than last week of real school

CHILDREN have confirmed that the final week of homeschool before summer is even more bollocks than the final week of proper school.

Ignorance really is bliss, halfwits confirm

IDIOTS are in universal agreement that not knowing anything is indeed the secret to eternal happiness.

Just give us a f**king voucher, teachers plead as end of term approaches

TEACHERS say they do not want presents chosen by parents but would prefer a voucher so they can get something they actually like.

Man slightly too far away to hold the door for

A MAN is not quite close enough to hold the door open for, it has been confirmed.