Society

AS A senior Conservative, my knowledge of viral transmission is greater than any mere epidemiologist. Here’s why opening schools is perfectly safe.

STRUGGLING to make it through the last week of the summer holidays? These effective time-wasting activities should push you over the finish line.

THE events of this year mean it will be remembered in our language for centuries to come. Which of our new idioms will the future puzzle over?

A FATHER privately punched the air when he learned that his son only got six GCSEs compared with his own nine.

DO you lead a comfortable suburban life in the UK, but fear and hate the outside world for no good reason? Here’s how to enjoy pretending to be oppressed.

A MIDDLE class couple have confirmed they will be up in arms about their son’s GCSE results today whether they seem fair or not.

ROUGH bastard parents and posh twat parents are preparing to join in aggrieved fury about the government ballsing up GCSEs.

AN A-level student who chose not to take any course except General Studies is confident he has a bright future.

GOT bad A-level grades because the Tories need to teach Zoomers like you a harsh lesson? You’re going through clearing. But first heed the words of these alumni.

A STUDENT who bothered to revise for his mock exams is feeling unbearably pleased with himself as he waits to find out his A-level results.