Society

WITH the Crown Estate due to receive a bailout after a slump in revenue, the Queen has been spotted spending her first welfare cheque on cheap fags and booze.

IT’S inevitable that you’ll eventually bump into some twat from school while shopping. Here are some you should have looked out for in the ready meal aisle.

EVERY Brexiter will be expected to host a lorry on their drive or front lawn to help Kent deal with the 7,000-strong queues expected after the transition period.

A LABRADOR has realised that the people he thought were his parents are actually a different species.

THIS year started badly, very quickly got much, much worse, briefly levelled out and is now plunging again. Here’s what’s coming up.

UNSURE what to say to the working class man, or occasionally woman, who brings your massive supermarket delivery round? Try these convincingly matey conversations.

IF you’re looking to lose a few friends then why not have a child or two? Try these foolproof techniques for pissing off friends and strangers.

IS being asked by the government to grass everyone up for Rule of Six violations your dream come true? Here’s how make the most of it.

Young people are shit. In addition to being the sole spreaders of Covid-19, here is a list of their other crimes.

A PERVERTED anarchist monster who recognises no authority has outraged society by keeping their car and house keys on a single keyring.