Society

CORONAVIRUS? What coronavirus? Here some of Britain’s leading business dickheads explain why it’s time to pretend everything’s okay.

AFTER months of lockdown you’re probably a bit rusty at the old small talk. Here are some conversational icebreakers for this brave new COVID-19 world.

TORIES hate teachers even more than thick kids do. Here MP Denys Finch Hatton explains why the entire profession is evil.

A MAN with a shaved head and Burberry jacket believes he is defending a statue of Winston Churchill when it is actually a Portaloo.

DO you have a strong urge to criticise Black Lives Matter on Mail Online without looking like an actual racist? Here’s how to go about it.

ARE you confused by the government’s weird and disjointed plans for returning to normal? Here are your questions answered as best we can.

WITH most children not to attend school until September, sensible parents are increasingly asking whether it’s worth educating kids at all. Find out:

THE nation’s right-wing bastards are so concerned about deprived children not getting an education that they can hardly sleep, they have lied.

THE Angel of the North has challenged statue topplers to plant it right f**king there if they have a f**king problem.

FOLLOWING the relocation of a slave trader’s statue to the bottom of Bristol harbour yesterday, here’s a quick guide to today’s statue topplings.