Society

A COFFEE shop barista taking an inordinate amount of time to froth your latte wants you to know that for these two minutes, she owns you.

AN absolute bloody idiot has joined in his wife’s tirade against her best friend.

MOTHERS have confirmed they are sick of waiting for artificial intelligence to automate all the tedious, repetitive shit they have to do.

A SYNCHRONISED dance at the beginning of a wedding reception has foreshadowed the hellish nightmare to come.

A BUILDER has followed Boris Johnson’s example by defending sexually harassing women in public as part of his private life.

A WOMAN has spoiled it for the rest of womankind by admitting they all urinate in the shower.

A WOMAN is so sick of being asked when she is starting a family that she has begun to answer ‘when Satan spills his diabolical black spunk in my womb’.

A MAN who lives in a village with a population of 72 has accused people who live in a massive cosmopolitan city of being somehow separated from the real world.

A CAB driver knows full well you will be tweeting his bizarre opinion on Brexit within minutes of getting out of his cab.

MEN have united to confess that every last one of them looks at dirty stuff on their computers.