Society

A LARGE hard-wearing IKEA bag could comfortably house a family of four, a government think tank has claimed.

A MAN who claims to give more than his actual capacity is actually only giving about a third of it.

EVERYONE has returned to work after learning that the system is a giant conspiracy designed to ruin their lives.

SOME neighbours have fallen out because they are petty, hostile morons who are just as bad as each other.

A MAN spends a lot of time on the internet describing improbable situations he could resolve aggressively, it has emerged.

A COUPLE who disagree on most things have been united by their love of bullshit products.

PEOPLE in Bristol who do not smoke cannabis face fines and possible imprisonment, it has emerged.

A 38 YEAR-old man has been hailed a hero after spending an entire weekend without alcohol.

A MAN has confirmed that mindfulness has helped him calmly acknowledge and accept his own twattishness.

A 33 YEAR-OLD woman has admitted she has not learned anything new about herself for at least seven years.