Society

A 31-YEAR-OLD woman has been traumatised by the discovery that her husband is a bit of a twat.

A WOMAN has vowed that she will wear thin-soled canvas trainers through the depths of winter no matter what the cost.

SCOTTISH people describe every fizzy drink as 'juice', despite no 'juicing' having taken place.

PEOPLE campaigning for Britain to leave the EU privately hope the country stays in so they can keep bitching about it.

A CYCLIST with a helmet camera has vowed to bring justice to the roads in the uncompromising style of Judge Dredd, it has emerged.

THE overall cost of raising children means that the fun bits of parenthood cost over £1,200 per hour, it has emerged.

A WOMAN’S bathroom cabinet is brimful of distilled, cleansing, pointless lotions.

PROPER grown-up humans have no idea why a celebrity has deleted his Twitter account.

THE purchase of an expensive European lager was ruined by being served in a normal pint glass.

MEN across Britain have begun their grim annual duty of buying flowers.