Society

LONDON property prices will plummet because all the rich twats are already there, experts have warned.

PLANS to extend the school day are George Osborne's revenge against some kids who called him 'peckerhead', it has emerged.

BRITAIN’S middle classes have said that getting disabled people’s money is nice but they would also like their parking spaces if possible.

A WOMAN posted a smug Facebook status update about her baby and then had to clean up its liquid shit, it has emerged.

A MAN has so many unsightly tattoos that the best option is to colour all of him in with blue-grey ink, a tattoo artist has decided.

GEORGE Osborne will unveil a Budget tax incentive so low-paid workers can buy a speedboat.

MOVING to one of the world’s most expensive cities is not something you have to do, it has emerged.

BOY racers have confirmed that they drive fairly old hatchbacks because they prefer them to supercars.

BELIEF in popular slogans about not being judgemental is a defining characteristic of arseholes, it has been claimed.

A MAN wearing the robes and mitre of the Archbishop of Canterbury has been filmed on a bus ranting about migrants.