Society

BEING imprisoned and heavily fined is better than going on a stag weekend, it has been claimed.

PEOPLE become happiest aged 70 when other people's opinions cease to matter, it has emerged.

A FAMILY has gone feral after learning that Wetherspoon pubs will no longer serve roast dinners.

A RACIST believes pork products can cause Muslims to burn up and crumble into dust.

A YOUNG woman on a night out with friends has admitted she should not have worn a hat.

A VEGETARIAN has been burnt at the stake in a steak house before being served up to meat hungry customers.

AT the stroke of 9.00 a.m Tom Logan and Emma Bradford’s favourite people in the world raced to find the cheapest item on their wedding list.

THE return of the Flying Scotsman has reminded Britain of a simpler time before the internet ruined everything.

A 26-YEAR-OLD man is nodding along to the music in a cafe so that others can see how he really gets it.

THE father of a two-year-old has admitted wiping away tears after realising his son is no longer oblivious to his foul language.