Society

Cardinal's hatred of gay marriage veering towards poignant

CARDINAL Keith O'Brien's ferocious hatred of gay marriage may actually be rather sweet and sad, it has been confirmed.

Terrorism 'appealing to nerds'

NERDS are at serious risk of being recruited by terrorist groups, it has been claimed.

'Are we the jury?' jury asks judge

A JURY yesterday asked a judge if it was the jury.

Anywhere nice absolutely teeming with arseholes

THE picturesque parts of Britain are now full of utter dickbags, it has emerged.

Most people don't have any potential

THE majority of people are already doing things as well as they can, it has emerged.

Spending time together will kill a relationship

SPENDING time with your partner can be fatal for a relationship, experts have warned.

Hipsters are better than you, say researchers

IRONICALLY-moustached hipsters are actually better than you, according to a new study.

Page 3 not evil enough, says Murdoch

PAGE 3 is not doing enough to mess with people's heads, according to Rupert Murdoch.