Society

BRITAIN’S thugs have asked whether jiggling a fat person is a hate crime.

THICKHEADED older people have criticised educational standards among young thickos.

THE British system of debating social security is open to rampant abuse and exploitation, according to research.

BRITISH people are still incapable of coming up with personalities for themselves.

THE government’s welfare cuts are targeted at the fictional character Frank Gallagher.

Wednesday: Woke up to see a big dog on pavement. Remained indoors.

The Daily Mash presents a simple questionnaire to help you work out how persecuted you are.

THE birth of a 15-and-a-half pound baby heralds a golden age of plenty.

PEOPLE who buy the Telegraph are demanding to have the words 'paywall', 'website' and 'internet' explained to them.