Society

THE future of high streets is as nostalgic theme attractions depicting pre-Amazon Britain, it has been claimed.

AS snow continues to fall, Britons are being encouraged to take up arms against it.

PEOPLE who seemed ill-tempered, stressed or otherwise miserable may be legitimately pissed off, it has been claimed.

RECESSION-HIT Britons have revised their lists of 'things to do before I die' to make them more realistic.

COFFEE has officially replaced cigarettes as Britain's addictive drug of choice, it has emerged.

BRITAIN’S sense of moral indignation has been outsourced to a single man in China, it has emerged.

A SLEDGE has distanced itself from the inevitable injuries to its rider.

DOUBLING the cost of a lottery ticket to £2 represents a tax on idiots, it has been claimed.