Society

THE UK's top aspiration is to drink 14 pints without going to the toilet.

THE new press regulator will allow newspapers 24 hours to change the world to match any inaccuracies in stories.

A SUBSTANTIAL tax on bragging about your salary would be the fairest way to smash the deficit, experts have claimed.

THE dream of never being disagreed with came a step closer last night.

LETTING café staff run around after our kids is a perfectly acceptable form of childcare, say arsehole parents.

BRITAIN'S biggest horticultural campaign has introduced an award for Best Grow Room.

ALL of the £76M raised on Red Nose Day will be used to hire a crack team of killers, Comic Relief confirmed.

POPE Francis has urged Catholics not to waste their valuable time on caring.

THE return of Pot Noodle manufacturing to the UK has reminded the public they are shit.