Society

A CARDIFF councillor has been suspended after claiming the Earth is round and orbits the sun.

ALL Frenchmen in the UK will have to wear a bucket on their heads or be moved around in a box, the government will confirm today.

A NEW graduate tax will see those bothered to turn up, get a good degree and a lucrative career pay a higher rate than the likes of you.

POUNDLAND is pretty good, human rights campaigners admitted last night.

THE primary school headteacher on £270,000 a year is devoting much of his spare time to rubbing his doctor's nose right in it.

PRIVATE skank academies are under pressure to admit more budding footballer semen receptacles from low-income families.

RAOUL Moat was executed on behalf of a group of Tory billionaire businessmen whose names you will never know, it was claimed last night.

HOUSES, for so long the friends of mankind, have finally turned against their masters, according to the latest property market survey.

MEN who surreptitiously leer at attractive women must 'come out', it was claimed last night.

RESIDENTS in Rothbury have asked armed police if one of them has a minute to take down Sky's Kay Burley.