Society

How have you horrified your woke teenager this weekend?

YOUR 14-year-old is in her room, on FaceTime, telling her best friend in Florida she’s never met of your latest scandalous transgression. What is it this time?

Surrey man assumes anyone with a Northern accent is left-wing

A SOUTHERNER has been shocked to discover that not everyone from the soot-blackened, impoverished North is a dyed-in-the-wool socialist.

Why can't unions make their point in a way that doesn't inconvenience anybody?

STRIKING? Childish I call it. Causing major disruption to millions to make a pathetic point. Why can’t they protest in a way that doesn’t affect anybody?

'Couples may only conceive before a portrait of the King', and four other laws still on the statute books

EVERYONE knows you can be executed by arson in the Royal Dockyards for shooting a Welshman from Chester’s walls on a Sunday. Like these laws, it was never repealed.

Gen X man progressive by 90s standards

A 53-YEAR-OLD man is considered progressive when compared to societal norms of the 1990s, it has emerged.

IKEA to provide couples' counselling stations throughout shop floors

IKEA is to open counselling stations on its shop floors to help couples through the trauma of buying its home furnishings, it has confirmed.

Thrilled Britain keenly awaiting arrival of biggest ever energy bill

ACROSS the nation, families are waiting by their letterboxes to receive the biggest energy bills they have ever seen.

The weekend staff's guide to being the most incompetent worker possible

TIRED of being bad at your job in the same old predictable ways? Follow the lead of the peerlessly incompetent staff who work at the weekends.

Women should support other women, says awful, unsupportable woman

A WOMAN who no one in their right minds would support is using feminism to blackmail other women into endorsing her terrible behaviour.

Are you 'not consciously racist'? Take our fun quiz

AN FA panel has claimed ex-Crawley Town manager John Yems was ‘not consciously racist’ despite comments like ‘curry muncher’. So are you unconsciously racist?