Society

PRINCE Andrew has reflected that the tragic loss of his beloved mother now means he is only seven further unexpected losses away from becoming King.

HER Majesty the Queen was a woman perfectly in tune with her nation and the nation was in tune with her. She would have wanted us to do all these things.

A MAN is wondering if he is allowed to have a swan now or if they have immediately passed to King Charles.

THE USA has launched into a frenzy of grief and mourning over the Queen's passing that far outweighs our own, it has emerged.

LIVING through monumental historical events is exhausting because they all happen at f**king once, Britain has agreed.

WITH Charles becoming King, lots of previously unquestioned aspects of British life will change. These five will take some getting used to.

REPUBLICANS have announced plans to keep their f**king heads down for the next couple of weeks until this shitstorm blows itself out.

IT’S said Britain does pomp and ceremony well, but we’re even better at being weird when the famous pass on. These are the typically abnormal responses.

THE nation is likely to lose its shit in a variety of expected and unexpected ways over the next few days, experts have confirmed.

THE start of the school year is a competition and I am winning. Follow my example but do not expect to live up to it.