Society

THE latest guidance from this government making it no longer compulsory to wear masks is a sickening fascist move that should go much further.

UNSURE if it matters that Johnson’s July 2020 birthday party broke the rules? Compare it to the shitty celebration you had that year.

DO your parents’ long-running obsessions make you so frustrated you go down the end of their garden for an angry fag? They never shut up about this bullshit.

THE Highway Code has been updated to meet the needs of the dickheads who dominate Britain’s roads. Be aware of these new rules.

SURROUNDED by bloody people? Want nothing more than for them all to just piss off? Try these tips:

FIND yourself struggling to articulate where you hail from because it’s outside the M25? If you’re one of the dozens of people not from London, follow this guide.

YOU were on the cusp of middle age before you realised what exactly a ‘semester’ was. These still confuse:

THE current cost of living crisis and impending hikes in energy bills are worrying for all of us, but especially people like me who are seeing their humble dreams of owning a second home crumble to dust.

DID you once savage your classmates with your astounding repartee? Then you no doubt used these zingers back in the day.

DRIVING would be so much nicer if it wasn’t for all the other total twats on the roads doing these things.