Society

HARK! Is that the sound of a knobhead in a modded-up Golf? How courteous to noisily warn us of his impending presence. Listen for these sounds.

AFTER revelations about offensive texts and going in mob-handed to protect oligarchs’ mansions, the police’s reputation has taken a hit. Here gammon Roy Hobbs explains why he still has total faith in the ‘thin blue line’.

YES, it’s the most ersatz celebration of the year as non-Irish people honour St Patrick by puking in the street. Here’s how to make it actually quite offensive.

THOUGHT higher education would improve your life? Nope. Here are the subjects that will make zero difference to your career prospects.

YOUR children are your greatest source of pride and shame. Modern society has left them weak, embarrassing and without these basic skills, writes father Martin Bishop.

CONFUSED as to why we’re spunking £250 million on a big boat? Misguided patriotic bellend Steve Malley explains.

KIDS in the 70s were told in no uncertain terms they'd ‘get a clip round the lughole’ and much, much worse. Here are some threats that would freak out the sensitive children of today.

WANT to celebrate International Women’s Day but what do women even think’s so good about them anyway? Sensible, objective man James Bates explains.

DESPITE considering yourself a rational, intelligent person, you cling to utterly stupid superstitions like these.

DO you feel your children should be aware of the war in Ukraine? But can you also not be arsed to explain it responsibly? Be sure to cover all these bases.