Drivers Face Ban On Driving In Cars

BRITAIN’S top road safety campaigners are demanding a ban on ‘driving at the wheel’ in an attempt to cut the number of car crashes. 

Public Fury At 'Offensive' Church Comic

CHURCH leaders were under attack last night for publishing an 'offensive' comic book designed to teach teenagers about sex and morality.

Blair Tells Brown 'I'm Getting The Friends'

TONY Blair has announced the timetable for the run-up to the declaration of the date by which he will reveal the time of the announcement of the confirmation of his final split from his long-term companion Gordon Brown.

Sarkozy Cuts Lunch Breaks To Eight Hours

FRENCH president-in-waiting Nicolas Sarkozy yesterday unveiled his radical plans for a social revolution in France including a cut in the lunch break from nine to eight hours. 

Scotland Marks Start Of National Drinking Season

NATIONAL Drinking Season kicked-off in spectacular fashion over the bank holiday weekend with more than 125,000 arrests and pandemonium across the country.

The World's Most Eco-Friendly Shopping Bag: Are You Too Poor And Ghastly To Own One?

THOUSANDS of really ordinary people like you queued around the block last night to get their hands on the must-have fashion accessory of our time: the Anya Hindmarch designed Daily Mash eco-shopping bag.

Prince Harry To Be Sent To Ascot

ARMY chiefs are reviewing their decision to send Prince Harry to Iraq and are now expected to send the Royal soldier to Ascot instead.

'Eat Your Rubbish' Say Councils

SCOTTISH councils are planning to shift from weekly refuse collections to never because householders keep on filling their bins with dirty rubbish.

Hairdresser Opens Underworld Portal

A LEADING Scots hairdresser has opened a portal to the underworld in his Glasgow salon to satisfy the growing demand for paranormal coiffeuring. 

Jail The Parents Of Masturbators, Says Charity

PARENTS who allow their teenage sons to masturbate at home should face jail, a leading charity says.