Columnists

Stephen King: I had no idea I'd written a sequel to The Shining

Critics are saying it sounds like a sequel to The Shining, and my response is: the what?

Putin's guide to selfies

Most are making their selves look like homeless simpleton or sick prostitute.

Mrs Phillips in room seven

Oh my, would you look at this. BBC2, nine o’clock, ‘The Fisters’.

Richard and Judy's space-relationship tips

ADVICE for the middle-aged couple undertaking a manned mission to Mars, with Richard and Judy.

Richard III's beauty blog

It doesn't matter if you're the King of York or Lancaster - just as long as you're the King of You.

Jodie Foster's intensely private HMV memories

Mel, you with me? Remember the twelve inch? I think you do. We don't need another hero, is all I'm sayin', Mel. That was a bit of code between me and Mel, there.

Gerard Depardieu's green card

After safely reaching port, we'll move into the Kremlin and dine on black caviar until we all get diarrhoea and have to lie down. Bon vivant!

Brad Pitt's Twelve Days of Christmas

I've wet myself. Inevitable.

Andrew Marr's History of Gay Tory Witch Hunts

Benjamin Disraeli would become the first name in Philip Schofield's list of gay Tory witches.