Columnists

Stephen King: I had no idea I'd written a sequel to The Shining
Critics are saying it sounds like a sequel to The Shining, and my response is: the what?

Putin's guide to selfies
Most are making their selves look like homeless simpleton or sick prostitute.

Mrs Phillips in room seven
Oh my, would you look at this. BBC2, nine o’clock, ‘The Fisters’.

Richard and Judy's space-relationship tips
ADVICE for the middle-aged couple undertaking a manned mission to Mars, with Richard and Judy.

Richard III's beauty blog
It doesn't matter if you're the King of York or Lancaster - just as long as you're the King of You.

Jodie Foster's intensely private HMV memories
Mel, you with me? Remember the twelve inch? I think you do. We don't need another hero, is all I'm sayin', Mel. That was a bit of code between me and Mel, there.

Gerard Depardieu's green card
After safely reaching port, we'll move into the Kremlin and dine on black caviar until we all get diarrhoea and have to lie down. Bon vivant!

Brad Pitt's Twelve Days of Christmas
I've wet myself. Inevitable.

Andrew Marr's History of Gay Tory Witch Hunts
Benjamin Disraeli would become the first name in Philip Schofield's list of gay Tory witches.

(Black) cat's entertainment
A Halloween-themed cinema review by a cat.

Guest Blog: Nigella Lawson
When you've a diet that as rich and varied as mine, the bathroom can become a seething, nightmarish jungle of microscopic ghouls.