Politics

THE Government admits it is struggling with the Scottish independence movement because it cannot think of a single reason why they might want it.

DO you worry that your arguments sometimes conflict with what you said moments earlier? Don’t worry - here Brexiter Martin Bishop explains how to hold two contradictory views.

THE prime minister will be wasting no time sucking up to newly sworn-in president Joe Biden. Here is a transcript of their first conversation today.

DO you think Britain should be governed purely on the basis of what gets positive headlines? Here junior minister Denys Finch Hatton explains the government’s winning strategy.

THE television that President Trump has been shouting at for the last week has unexpectedly told him to shut the f**k up. 

HI Keir. You’re an experienced politician and I’m a 23-year-old footballer, yet I’m much better than you at holding the government to account. Here are my tips on how it’s done.

BRITAIN’S prime minister not only looks a bumbling fool while attempting to lead the nation through crisis, but on all other occasions.

IF I’ve got one complaint about lockdowns, it’s that they give people far too much personal freedom. My dream lockdown would be...

AMERICA is once again leading Britain in the Dumbshit Olympic competition to decide the most idiotic country on the f**king Earth. 

ARE you the sort of dunce who votes for arseholes like Boris Johnson and Donald Trump? Here are some questions to ask yourself before voting for them next time.