Politics

THE so-called Chinese spies in Westminster were only checking the MPs they had purchased were operating correctly, China has explained.

THE Tories appear to be on a mission to wreck the UK, so what should you do if you’re one of the dolts who enthusiastically voted for them? Here’s how to pathetically bluff it out.

EDUCATION minister Gillian Keegan has followed up yesterday’s expletive-filled rant by informing the public they and their f**king kids can get f**ked.

IT is a year since Liz Truss became prime minister, and Britain can no longer hide from the obvious truth: she killed the Queen.

THE home secretary has ruled that every burglary, car theft and stolen bicycle must be investigated in case it leads to a precious, wonderful deportation.

LABOUR leader Keir Starmer has claimed that he would never be able to attend university today because he would be too unintelligent.

HEARD about lazy girl jobs? They’re roles with low effort, low stress and lots of flexibility, which is right up my street. Here’s my guide to the top five.

THE UK has decided that, post-Sunak, all future prime ministers must be five feet and six inches tall at the absolute minimum.

EVERY grim pub has a weird bloke sitting on his own who turns out to have incredibly dodgy opinions. Here Lee Anderson MP gives his tips on being that guy you regret talking to.

I LOVE cars and Britain’s wonderful, friendly car community. Ordinary, decent, hardworking car folk like you. And that’s why I can’t stand by and let Labour turn our beloved cars transgender.