Politics

MEMBERS of Parliament are sure their 11 percent pay rise will eventually be seen as a political masterstroke.

GEORGE Osborne is to announce multi-billion pound service cuts with more than 16,000 white diamonds glued to his body.

ENERGY executives have escaped a grilling after a power cut at the Houses of Parliament.

ENERGY Secretary Ed Davey has turned detective to find out why bills for gas and electricity are rising so sharply.

NICK Clegg is to break away from the Liberal Democrats to form a party called Nick.

THE Prime Minister has instructed his new cabinet to initiate high-profile sex scandals.

THE prime minister has a machine and it makes bread.

ED Miliband has admitted that he's still looking for the moment that will indelibly define him as a bell-end.

EXCITED Britons have been rushing to see their favourite Labour politicians at the party conference in Brighton.

THE Liberal Democrats' 2015 election promises have been put into a metal tube and blasted into the heart of the solar system.