UNABLE to continue blaming the English for their misfortunes, an independent Scotland will instead hate cats.
DAVID Cameron has pledged to settle, once and for all, the question of why Britain is so shit.
PRESIDENT Obama made a number of rash, personalised promises to voters, it has emerged.
DAVID Cameron is in floods of tears today after having taken Ecstasy with Boris Johnson at the Olympics closing ceremony.
REPUBLICAN presidential candidate Mitt Romney has concluded a visit to Russia by relieving himself on the casket containing the enbalmed body of Lenin.