Politics

Britons flock to Labour Party conference

EXCITED Britons have been rushing to see their favourite Labour politicians at the party conference in Brighton.

Clegg fires 2015 election pledges into the sun

THE Liberal Democrats' 2015 election promises have been put into a metal tube and blasted into the heart of the solar system.

Cameron to hold Obama's jacket in Putin confrontation

PRESIDENT Obama has arranged for David Cameron to hold his jacket during a heated exchange on Syria with Vladimir Putin.

ATOS rates Cameron fit for work

DAVID Cameron has been assessed as 'fit for work' despite claims of crippling back pain.

Labour to trust in good sense and judgement of teenagers

PEOPLE who Snapchat their genitals to each other while watching Hollyoaks should be allowed to vote, according to Labour.

We let in too many twats, says Bryant

SHADOW immigration minister Chris Bryant has admitted that too many twats have been allowed into the Labour Party.

Miliband recruits the Punisher

ED Miliband is hoping to invigorate the shadow cabinet with the appointment of Marvel Comics character the Punisher.

'Job camps' are the final solution to unemployment, says Duncan Smith

IAIN Duncan Smith has decided to stop cocking about and just move the unemployed into special camps.