Politics

THE Conservative party has been advised to not even f**king think about doing the thing they are very clearly considering.

JEREMY Hunt is to reassure the markets with a mini-statement on where Liz Truss is being held and the security of the restraints used.

THE time is 9.01am: is Liz Truss still prime minister? How about now? This guide takes you through the next few hours.

THE markets and Britain’s mood have been given a massive boost on discovering the arsehole who buggered up the NHS is back in government.

A NEW unelected and wildly unpopular Conservative could soon be leading the country without the country’s consent, but who? We rank the runners and riders.

THE UK is wondering at what point Liz Truss will come to the long-overdue realisation that she has completely f**ked it.

A POLITICAL party that gives tax breaks to the wealthy and deports refugees to Rwanda is confused as to how anyone could dislike them.

THE prime minister is sure she will win back the trust and support of voters by having Larry the cat put down, it has emerged.

THE anti-growth coalition, made up of anyone who disagrees with Liz Truss, is the source of every wrong in this country. So is it behind these misfortunes?

A MAN who has acted like a total prick for 12 years is taking a leaf out of the Tories’ book and pretending it was someone else’s fault.