Politics

YOU can’t tie a shoelace these days without accidentally backing the destruction of capitalism. Retired headmistress Margaret Gerving details the other knee-based activities it’s ruined.

ALL Covid restrictions will be lifted next Monday because it is ‘a fun thing to say and it makes me feel good’, Boris Johnson has confirmed.

I’VE been in politics long enough to know what’s important and what’s a mere gesture by deluded millionaire Marxists who should stick to football. Let me explain.

DESPITE recent defeats in by-elections, the Conservative party isn’t going to magically disappear anytime soon. Here’s how to live with this deadly strain of politics.

THE prime minister has decided to take a massive gamble with Britain’s health by ending all restrictions as cases are soaring. But why?

REPLACING GB stickers on cars with UK is the latest thing culture war dickheads are up in arms about. Roy Hobbs suggests more minor issues to be outraged by.

REGRETTABLY and for no apparent reason, I have split up with my wife Sarah Vine. So here’s how I plan to get back in the dating game and take a beauty home every night.

THE prime minister has announced that the electorate of Batley and Spen can orally pleasure him after last night’s by-election result. 

CONFUSED about why the Batley and Spen by-election is so controversial and why there are so many wankers involved? Read our Q&A.

A BREXITER hopes to hear no more foolishness about the wisdom of leaving the EU after last night’s England game.